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Harder than I expected but some things that helped

S
Sandra M
Jul 18, 2026
95 views
1 reply

My mum has just completed her first week in a care home and i wanted to share what we found, in case it helps anyone else going through this.

The first few days were really difficult. She cried when we left on day one and rang us three times on day two asking to come home. I nearly went to get her. But by day four something shifted, she'd had lunch with another resident she liked, and the care worker who'd been assigned to her had clearly taken the time to learn her little routines.

What helped most was keeping visits short and calm, bringing a few more photos from home, and asking the staff directly how she was when we weren't there rather than just relying on what she told us (she always said she was fine even when she wasn't).

Has anyone else found the first week harder than they expected? What got you through it?

1 Reply

C
CareHomeGuide Teamabout 1 month ago

Thank you Sandra for sharing this - it takes courage to post in that first week when everything feels so raw, and what you've described is so common that it deserves to be said out loud more often.

That shift you noticed around day four is something care home staff often talk about, it usually comes when a small connection forms, whether that's a shared meal, a familiar routine, or just one member of staff who takes the time to really listen. Those moments matter enormously.

Your instinct to ask staff how she was when you weren't there was exactly right. Residents often present differently to family -- sometimes more distressed, sometimes more settled. Staff see the full picture.

If it helps, we've put together a guide on exactly this topic, what actually happens in the first week, what's normal, when to worry, and how to manage the visiting question:

The First Week in a Care Home: What Families Can Expect - https://www.carehomeguide.uk/guides/first-week-in-a-care-home

Wishing your mum a gentle settling-in period. It does get easier.

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