I'm grieving even though she's still alive

Hi Linda, what you're feeling has a name, anticipatory grief. It's one of the least talked about parts of caring for a parent with dementia, but it's incredibly common. You haven't given up on your relationship with your mum. You're grieving the version of her you knew, while still showing up for who she is now. That takes strength, not weakness.

If it helps, we've written a guide for families in exactly this situation: carehomeguide.uk/guides/dementia-care

You're not alone in this.