We're at the beginning of what feels like a very long road. Mum is 89, still in her own home, but things are getting harder and we're starting to have conversations we've been putting off for years. Just wanted to say hello really. If anyone else is going through the same thing
Hi Molly, thank you for being the first to share. This is exactly the reason we set up this space. So many families are going through the same thing and feeling like they're doing it alone.
89 and still in her own home is wonderful but we understand how hard those conversations can be when the time comes. You will find others here who get it.
Thank you, that means a lot. I wasn't sure if anyone would even see this. Will try to check back in as things progress.
Dare I even write my thoughts down, for that means I accept the reality. Acceptance - Reality.
My darling husband is now in a care home. Though I would never show it to my husband my heart is broken, I am depressed, anxious guilty.
I visit almost every day and he constantly tells me how much he loves and misses me.
Staff tells me he is doing well and I watch him laugh and joke with staff.
Why is it so hard to understand Reality & Acceptance.
After 53 years of a happy marriage I miss him around the house, all our plans, his arms around me, his conversations but I guess I am remembering the man before he got Dementia. My strong, capable husband who could do absolutely anything.
How to accept his terminal illness. Thank you for reading this - Jan
Jan, thank you for writing that down. It takes a lot to put those feelings into words.
Fifty three years. Of course the house feels wrong, of course you miss him.
What you're feeling, the guilt and the grief, it's not a sign that something is wrong with you. It's a sign of how much you love him. Those two things, him being safe and cared for and your heart being broken, they can both be true at the same time.
You don't have to accept anything today. Just keep going.
We're really glad you found this space, Jan. Take care.